Sometimes Eating Disorder Recovery Feels Worse Before It Feels Better
Recovering from an eating disorder is deeply personal, and it takes a lot to even get to the start line. Many individuals expect that once they choose recovery and begin attending therapy, they will immediately start to feel better. Although I sometimes wish this were the case, eating disorder recovery is not linear. It is common for people to actually feel worse before they feel better, and understanding this paradox may be crucial for anybody navigating this path.
The Initial Struggle
When individuals begin to confront their eating disorders, they may experience an array of intense emotions. The very behaviors and thought patterns that provided a sense of control or comfort are suddenly being challenged. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, guilt, and even anger. It’s as if the safety net that once shielded them is being pulled away, exposing them to the rawness of their emotions.
The Physical Discomfort
As the body begins to heal, physical discomfort often arises. For those who have restricted their food intake, the introduction of regular meals can lead to bloating, digestive issues, and changes in energy levels. This discomfort can be discouraging, making it feel as if recovery is an uphill battle. It’s essential to remember that these feelings are a part of the body’s adjustment process and a necessary step toward healing.
The Emotional Turmoil
Recovery is not just about physical health; it’s also about emotional well-being. Many people find themselves grappling with feelings of vulnerability and loss—loss of the identity they built around their eating disorder, and vulnerability as they open themselves up to new ways of living. For many, the eating disorder was their only coping skill, and confronting the pain of life without it can be jarring. This emotional turbulence can feel overwhelming, leading to the misconception that recovery is not worth the pain.
Finding Support
During this difficult phase, support is crucial. Connecting with therapists, support groups, or loved ones can provide a lifeline. Sharing experiences and emotions with others who understand can alleviate some of the isolation that often accompanies an eating disorder.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
While the journey can feel daunting, it’s essential to hold on to hope. Many who have walked this path report that the feelings of discomfort and struggle eventually give way to a more profound sense of self-acceptance and freedom. With time, patience, and the right support, recovery can lead to a healthier relationship with food and a more fulfilling life.
If you are ready to begin your journey of recovery, send me an email at eada@morningbirdtherapy.com!