7 Things That Are Making Your Body Image Worse (And How to Change That) - Part 2

If you haven’t read part one of this blog post, read it here! This post will explore six additional things that are impacting your body image negatively, whether you know it or not. We will also delve into some ideas for beginning to heal your relationship with your body.

1 - Negative self talk

This might sound like an obvious one, but the neuroscience behind it is fascinating. The more you repeat negative self talk, the more engrained those neural pathways become. That means that if you continuously judge your appearance, you are encoding false beliefs in your brain chemistry, making negative body image a habit.

Try this -

• The good news is that if negative thought patterns can be encoded into our brain chemistry, so can positive thought patterns. Practice saying neutral or positive things about your body… over and over and over again.

• Catch yourself when you are engaging in negative self talk and take note. What patterns do you see? Can you gently redirect the negative body image thought?

2 - Overanalyzing photos of yourself

Have you ever looked at a photo of yourself and thought, “Do I really look like that!?” With the rise of social media, we are all constantly staring at photos of ourselves, deciding what to post, scrutinizing ourselves, zooming into our insecurities, and slapping filters over what we truly look like. Never before in history have we looked at ourselves THIS MUCH. We notice things that absolutely nobody else ever would. These patterns perpetuate an obsession with appearance and severe body dysmorphia.

Try this -

• Notice when you have the urge to zoom in, scrutinize, and edit photos of yourself. Pause and ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? What need am I trying to fulfill?”

• Think about what your future self might think of the photo. Consider yourself 10 years from now. Would that older, wiser version of you nitpick the photo?

  • On the flip side, do you find yourself nitpicking photos of yourself from 10 years ago? Probably not!

3 - Not pursuing your passions

The more time we spend picking apart our appearance, the less time we have to develop our skills and chase our dreams. When our passions are under-developed, we begin to feel like we have no purpose in life, and we lose major confidence. Many people with low self-esteem rely on their looks for a source of external validation, because they do not believe they have anything to offer besides the way they look.

We are always told via TikTok and Instagram to do this to our hair, or do that to our skin, or try this for a workout regimen… but we are rarely encouraged to develop our true sense of self.

Try this

• Write out a list of everything that makes you who you are - skills, talents, accomplishments, personality traits. Do not include any physical characteristics. Remember that your body is the LEAST interesting thing about you, and put your energy towards your true goals and dreams.

• Read books, listen to podcasts, draw, get outside, connect with friends, write, dance, sing, watch new films… What truly lights you up inside? Follow that.

4 - Avoiding your body

Don’t get me wrong, shifting the focus from your body image can be extremely healing. Sometimes it’s good to avoid looking at photos of ourselves and stop ourselves from staring at our reflection in the mirror. However, if you swing too far to other end of the pendulum—for example, never taking photos with loved ones, avoiding activities like swimming or dating due to body insecurities, not exercising for fear of feeling your body jiggle—then you are missing out on life! You can’t hid from your body… it is with you for your entire life!

Try this -

• Work with a therapist on slowly exposing yourself to the look and feel of your body - this could mean challenging yourself to take photos with a friend, wearing an outfit outside of your comfort zone, and eventually, being able to look at your body in the mirror without pain.

5 - Only seeing one body type

Is everybody on your Instagram feed a skinny white model? Do you have friends of diverse shapes and sizes? Of course you are only going to think one type of body is beautiful when that’s all you see. It’s extremely important to see diverse bodies on our TVs and phone screens, because the reality is that there is no one way to be beautiful. It’s important to see all kinds of beauty every single day, or we can fall into some deeply unhealthy patterns.

And if you do find that everybody you follow on social media looks the same, or all of your friends seem to have the same body type, it is probably worth asking yourself… why is that?

Try this -

• Diversify your social media feeds so that you see individuals of all different shapes, sizes, abilities, races, etc. Actively challenge what you consider to be “beautiful!”

6 - Adhering to gender norms

Many individuals feel pressure to look like the “ideal” for their gender. This applies to cisgender individuals as well as transgender or gender non-conforming individuals. For women, there is often pressure to be thin and “dainty,” while for men, there is pressure to be tall and muscular.

Sometimes individuals feel pressure to conform to the sex they were assigned at birth, which can lead to gender dysphoria and a deeply painful relationship with their body. There is an added layer of complexity for transgender individuals, who might feel pressure to look extremely masculine or extremely feminine so that they can “pass” for cisgender. These norms and ideals hurt all of us, and often lead people to severe negative body image.

Try this -

• Actively challenge gender norms whenever you notice that they are popping up in your brain. Ask yourself, “What need am I trying to fulfill here?”

• Experiment with where you feel the most like YOU. What kinds of clothing, hairstyles, and make up make you feel the most authentic? (even if they are not aligned with typical gender norms) Test new things out in environments where you feel safe.

7 - Staying silent

Your body image will never improve if you don’t talk about it. Point blank. Body image distress is heavy, painful, and all-consuming. Holding it inside makes it much worse, and the longer you avoid confronting it, the more pain it will create for your mental and physical health.

Try this:

• Write out how you feel in a journal. If you are not much of a writer, you can record your voice like an “audio diary”

• Open up to a trusted loved one about your struggles with body image

• Reach out to a licensed therapist about your body image distress. If you are experimenting with gender presentation, make sure you work with a professional who is LGBTQ-informed and celebrates the queer community.

If you are ready to heal your relationship with your body, reach out to be at eada@morningbirdtherapy.com!