7 Things That Are Making Your Body Image Worse (and how to change that)
1 - Social media
I know you were expecting this one, so I figured I would knock it out first. We all know that people post unrealistic photos on Instagram with curated angles, edits, and poses. This completely warps our perception of our own bodies and sets us up for a lot of negative thinking, whether we are comparing our bodies to those of celebrities and influencers, or the bodies of our own friends. I think we all know that icky feeling of comparing our lowest moments to other people’s highlight reel. We were never meant to consume so many “picture perfect” moments of other people’s lives. We are overloaded!
According to the American Psychological Association, teenagers and young adults who reduced their social media usage by 50% felt significantly better about their weight and overall appearance in just a couple weeks! This goes to show that social media can play a massive role in the way we view our own bodies.
Try this:
I know cutting social media out altogether may feel unrealistic. Can you reduce your use of apps like Instagram and TikTok? Consider setting time limits for yourself and sticking to them.
Unfollow or mute people who make you feel bad about your body (even people you know in real life!)
Follow individuals of all shapes and sizes so that you see a diverse representation of what it means to be beautiful on your feed.
2 - Body checking
Do you ever find yourself lifting up your shirt in the mirror to look at your stomach? Have you ever pinched your body fat to try and get a sense of how your body looks? Maybe you have taken photos or videos of your body from different angles and watched them back?
All of these behaviors are considered body checking. Body checking is defined as the habit of seeking information about your body’s weight, size, appearance, or shape. Body checking is a continuum, meaning that some individuals rarely ever body check, while others may fall into compulsive patterns of body checking all day long.
Body checking is clearly linked to body image dissatisfaction and eating disorders. Engaging in body checking almost always makes body image worse, but breaking the cycle can be extremely hard.
Try this:
Practice mindfulness and keep track of when you are body checking (many of us do it subconsciously!)
Acknowledge what triggers your body checking. Was it a big meal? Wearing a specific outfit? Feeling stressed about something else in your life? Do you notice any patterns?
Ask yourself - What need am I really trying to fulfill by checking my body? How can I meet this need in a healthy way?
3 - Diet talk
It is not our fault when people engage in diet talk around us. It’s almost impossible to avoid, whether it’s your friend bragging about their new diet, your co-worker saying “I need to go work off this donut,” or your parent praising you for weight loss. I think I hear some form of diet talk every single day!
This type of commentary can lead a lot of individuals into negative thought spirals about their own appearance, eating habits, or exercise routine. It is common to struggle with comparison, perfectionism, and feeling a lot of pressure after one of these conversations. People who are already preoccupied with thoughts about food and body may be particularly sensitive to diet talk.
The good news is that we have some say over what kind of conversations we allow to happen around us. This is where boundary-setting comes in. If we don’t tell people that their diet talk makes us uncomfortable, they are just going to keep at it, and it’s going to continue to hurt our body image.
Try this:
Limit your exposure. This could mean unfollowing social media accounts that put out triggering messages, or spending less time around individuals who consistently engage in diet talk.
Set boundaries with those around you. I know this idea feels daunting to some, but here are some phrases you can try:
“Let’s change the subject.”
“I’m working on my relationship with food and my body right now, so I would appreciate if you didn’t talk about these things around me anymore.”
“Please don’t comment on my body.”
“It may not seem like a big deal to you, but I feel hurt when I hear you talk about losing weight and dieting.”
“Recent research suggests that you actually cannot determine how healthy somebody is based on how much they weigh. If you want to learn more, I can send you some resources.”
“Body comments and diet talk can mirror the disordered or negative thoughts we have about ourselves, and can provide a sense of confirmation that others are watching or judging our bodies or food choices.”
4 - Clothes that don’t fit you
Have you ever hung onto a piece of clothing that you’ve outgrown just in case you magically lose weight and fit back into it one day? Or maybe you have something in your closet that you never gravitate towards because it’s just too tight, uncomfortable, and hard to squeeze into? Do you speak negatively to yourself whenever you see that small item of clothing folded in your dresser?
SO many of us do this! We cling onto this idea that we will one day shrink our bodies and fit back into our clothing from a past season of our lives. This line of thinking only keeps us stuck. Striving for a past body stops us from accepting our current body, and it can be quite painful to see reminders of that past body hanging in our closet.
Wearing clothes that fits appropriately can have a strong positive effect on body image and body acceptance (this means clothing that is not overly large or loose-fitting, too!) Letting go of clothing from the past can be liberating.
Try this:
Donate the clothes in your closet that no longer fit your body.
Thrift or buy new clothing that makes you feel confident.
5 - Looking at old photos of yourself
Similar to clothing that you’ve outgrown, old photos of yourself may trigger comparison to your past body (i.e. your high school body, your college body, your body before having children, your body before recovery, your body before beginning a gender transition, etc.)
It’s very normal for our bodies to change and fluctuate depending on the season of life we are in. The same way we mentally mature over our time, our physical bodies change too! Trust me, I know how difficult it can be to stop comparing your current body to your former body, but it’s actually a good thing that our bodies adapt to aging and life changes. Comparison is the thief of joy—even when we are comparing to our own selves.
Try this:
If you are not in a good enough headspace to be looking at past photos of yourself, don’t do it! It can be as simple as that. Store those photos on a hard drive and return to them when you’re ready.
When you are looking at a past photo, ask yourself:
Was I truly happier in that body? Was I truly healthier?
Was I truly confident in my body back then? Or was I just as critical of myself as I am now?
Am I romanticizing what my life was actually like during that time?
6 - Poor self care
Not sleeping enough, not eating enough, and not taking enough time to rest can all contribute to negative body image. When you are not meeting your own needs, your body’s natural response is to feel unsafe and out of balance. This means you are far more likely to struggle with anxiety, negative self-talk, and poor self image if you are not making a dedicated effort to nourish your body, care for your mental health, and respond to your needs with compassion.
Try this:
If you are feeling run down or burnt out, take a day off.
Make sure that you are eating every 3-4 hours and attending to your body’s natural cues.
Nail down a solid night routine so that you can get 8+ hours of quality sleep each night.
Connect with nature- feel the sun on your skin, breathe fresh air, touch grass!
7 - Weighing yourself
Raise your hand if you’ve let the number on the scale dictate whether you’re going to have a good day or a bad day? Talk about setting yourself up for failure! Our body weight fluctuates from moment to moment depending on many different factors including food and drink intake, sleep, hormonal changes, hydration levels, medications, fluid retention, recent bowel movements, and more.
Weighing yourself regularly can become compulsive or even addictive due to something called intermittent reinforcement. This means that once out of every 10 times we weigh ourselves, we may actually be happy about the number on the scale. This happiness is extremely short-lived, of course, but our brains are wired to continue to pursue that feeling, even though we feel absolutely terrible weighing ourselves the other 90% of the time.
Reliance on weighing ourselves is not only damaging emotionally, but also a biologically inaccurate way to measure our body composition, much less our health and well-being.
Get rid of your scale. Donate it, throw it away, smash it!
When you have the urge to weigh yourself, ask yourself - What need am I trying to fulfill right now? What’s a healthier way that I can meet this need for myself?
Instead of looking to the scale for information about your health, take some time to consider - How do I feel today? Am I feeling energetic or sluggish? Am I hydrated? Did I get enough sleep?
Body image is a lifelong journey that ebbs and flows. If you are ready to heal your relationship with your body, please reach out to eada@morningbirdtherapy.com!