Bad Body Image Days & How to Cope with Them
Do you have days where you look in the mirror and just do not like what you see? Do you fixate on certain body parts, hating the glimpses you catch of your reflection throughout the day? On these days, does it feel like you just can’t stop comparing your body to other people’s bodies?
Bad body image days are HARD. Sometimes our brains get so clouded with negative self talk, we can’t focus on anything else!
We all have these days from time to time - even those of us who have otherwise healed our relationships with our bodies. But if bad body image days (or weeks or months or years) are something you are familiar with, this post is for you.
The “what”
The media tells us that if we work hard and achieve our “dream body,” we will suddenly feel happier, more confident, and all of our problems will disappear. We are constantly told that we are one diet or one workout plan away from feeling our best, but this simply isn’t true.
Body image and body size are not correlated. In other words, changing your body will not fix negative body image, because body image is a mental game. It is the subjective perception of your own body, influenced by societal, cultural, and peer values.
During bad body image days, we often feel the urgency to change our appearance. We may think, “I am going to start a diet tomorrow” or “I am going to work out every day this week and lose five pounds” because we believe that changing our physique will lead us to feel more confident. Sometimes, it even does make us feel more confident—but only for a moment.
When we are constantly chasing an unattainable ideal, we will always be let down. As experience seems to show us time and time again, no amount of self improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.
So, despite what we are told by fitness models and diet programs, weight loss is not a magical prescription for self-love or happiness. In fact, it almost never turns out the way we expect it to. Positive body image is reliant on mental well-being, not physical appearance, and it often takes time and patience to achieve.
The “why”
In the past, I have felt guilty about my body image concerns because I thought I was being too vain. I felt ashamed of myself for spending so much time worrying about something so shallow… only to realize that, most of the time, my negative body image wasn’t really even about my body.
When upset or anxious about something else (relationship concerns, overwhelm at work or school, a traumatic experience), we tend to fixate on our bodies as a way of escaping our unhappiness and re-focusing our attention. For example, it’s a lot easier to worry about how well our jeans fit than it is to confront the reality of a dying family member, so we distract ourselves by picking apart our physical flaws instead.
Other times, stressing about our bodies is a way for us to gain control. There are very few things that we can actually control in this life, and if we feel like we are being dominated by our circumstances, we may cling to any sense of control we can get… whether it’s how many calories we eat, or what the number is when we step on the scale.
Sometimes our bad body image image days are a product of our perfectionism, or our need for acceptance, or the false belief that our value stems from our physical appearance. Whatever it is, minimizing bad body image days starts with identifying the cause of them, which can be the hardest part.
The “how”
We receive a lot of conflicting messages. On top of constantly being told to adjust our appearance and transform our physique, we are simultaneously pressured to “love ourselves just the way we are.”
And while the body-positivity movement has inspired confidence all over the world, it never quite provided us with information on how exactly to love ourselves… so it’s no wonder that we feel totally lost on the days that we wake up and hate what we see in the mirror.
Decreasing bad body image days is not simple, and the process can be quite challenging. Here are some tips to get through the hard days, so that we can focus on our daily tasks and truly enjoy our lives. With practice, the bad body image days will start to come less and less frequently.
Journaling gives me clarity on why I am experiencing negative body image, which helps me to understand how I can get through it. This practice reminds me to truly feel my painful feelings, accept them, and let them go. I could go on and on for my love of journaling. Blog post full of journal prompts coming soon. ;)
I always encourage my clients to challenge fat-phobia in their writing and thinking. Most of us are taught to fear body fat, and we grow up looking down on it. Actively fighting these engrained beliefs on bad body image days allows us to understand that health comes in all shapes and sizes. Appreciating all body types is key in accepting those around you, and ultimately in accepting yourself.
Being mindful of social media consumption is a game changer on bad body image days. This means unfollowing accounts that make you feel bad about yourself, and sometimes taking a break from social media altogether. This allows you to focus on yourself, and not compare your life to the lives of others.
Every time you want to put yourself down, consciously try to interrupt the cycle of negative self-talk. Whenever you catch yourself being critical, label it! You can say to yourself, “I am noticing the bad body image thoughts again,” or “I hear you, inner critic.” I know it sounds silly, but simply labeling the self-critical thoughts while they are happening can be empowering in itself. If you want to take it a step further, I encourage you to try and interrupt the negative thought and replace it with something neutral or positive (such as “I am so much more than my body” or “It’s okay to struggle.” ) This is WAY easier said than done! The more you do this, the better you will get at it, eventually breaking down destructive beliefs.
If you find yourself having many bad body image days in a row, and you can’t seem to escape them, you may need to get professional help. There is no substitute for a skilled therapist.
It is hard work to build a relationship with your body. However, with time, it is possible to learn how to accept, trust, and maybe even love your body. After all, life is too short to spend at war with yourself.
If you are interested in scheduling a free initial consultation at Morning Bird Therapy, please reach out to eada@morningbirdtherapy.com!